Right rudder

I am beginning to enjoy my preflight inspection. It has become a true ritual; a slow methodical pouring over of every inch of the aircraft. It is satisfying to get to know your plane, cataloguing every little scuff, flap actuator pin, rudder cable etc... On the third day I practiced liftoffs. Clean (no flaps) liftoff speed for the Cessna 172 is around 60 knots. Basically after you announce your takeoff intentions, you firewall the throttle (take about three seconds to go from open an 1/8" to full), and head down the runway. Pull back on the yoke to rotate (means pull nose up). You have to use a firm pressure on the yoke at the initial liftoff, shortly into the ascent the pressure breaks on the yoke and you can let it forward a bit. I learned that you have to jam the right rudder basically the whole time during the takeoff. "Why?" I asked. American made propellors turn clockwise from the perspective of the cockpit. The downswing of the propellor produces more thrust than the upswing which pulls the aircraft to the right. In order to keep a straight course you have to balance your thrust so having the right rudder out creates a yawing force to the opposite side  equalizing the increased thrust. Interestingly, British aircraft have propellors that turn in the opposite direction, so if you step on the right rudder during takeoff in one of these planes you will taxi off the runway.

I practiced takeoffs, straight and level flight, ascent, ascent while turning, constant speed descents and descents while turning. I have a tendency to watch the gauges (heading and vertical speed indicator) a little too much, and should use the horizon and engine noise to determine my power, pitch, and attitude. I'm just trying to get the feel of what happens to the gauges when I do pull back throttle, decrease angle of attack etc... 

After takeoff or when you want to land you have to fly the pattern. This consists flying in a circle composed of roughly of four legs. Depending on the winds all traffic usually goes through the runway with a particular directional orientation. Poplar grove has two runways 27 and 30 for 270 and 300 degrees (orientation of the runway). Airport runways are laid out so that the most frequent winds are head-on to the runway. This is determined by a wind rose. Check it out, here is the wind rose for  One always wants to takeoff and and land into the wind, but cruise with a tailwind. 

This shows the strength and frequency of the winds on an annual basis, so it makes sense for airports to consult this when picking an orientation for the runways. Anyway you can google this for the details but basically the faster winds are toward the ends of the radials, and the larger the bar the more frequently the winds are out of that direction (a southernly wind means that its coming from the south, NOT heading south). 

So back to the pattern- you takeoff into the headwind and turn left (normally most patterns are left turning, it is easier for the pilot to see when turning to the side that he's sitting on). After you turn left you are on the crosswind leg, then turn left again and you are parallel with the runway but heading downwind (meaning you have a tailwind). Next you make a left and this the base leg. If you make another left you've come full circle and are now on the approach leg heading upwind toward the runway. It is customary to enter the pattern on the downwind leg, and depart the pattern from the upwind. You have to enter the pattern at the proper altitude as well because you don't want to come in on top of someone, pattern altitude at Poplar Grove is a thousand feet above ground. Or 1,858 feet on the altimeter, because poplar grove is at an altitude of 858' above sea level. Announce you entry and final approach. 

Finally, there are different types of aviation gasoline (AVGAS). They are normally color coded by octane. You can go up in performance but never put a lower rated fuel into your engine because lower rated fuels combust at lower pressures and this could cause inefficient combustion and excessive engine heating. The C-172 takes 100LL (low lead). As of this entry, the cost of fuel is $3.85 a gallon, and we go through about 6 gallons during an hour of flight. 

Takeoff is cool, but for me I will not be happy until I can land the thing myself. Because from my current vantage point I can see that anyone can takeoff but landing is the proper closure, is more of an art and requires skill.  

 

Can you feel the g's?

Let me ask you something. When is the last time you operated a car that was built in 1968? Would you depend on that 40 year old transmission to take you to where you need to go on a road trip? I guess I would have to now answer yes. Because in a similar way, I depended on the wings of a 40 year old Cessna 172 to not fall off in the middle of my first flight as a student pilot. My father, doubling as my flight instructor, saying "Oh they make planes much better than they make cars, don't worry." It was my first real lesson about flight. After you have done your pre-flight check and have diligently assessed the avionics, ailerons, and elevator trim and have lifted off the ground, it is of no real use to then start questioning the structural integrity of the aircraft. I confess that for the first half hour I was doing this. But eventually previous experience kicked in, and I decided to submit to the notion that those things were out of my control and no longer worried about the propellor snapping off. What a metaphor for life! 

Interesting thing about the propellors not working, we were at 5,000 feet level flight. My father reaches for the throttle and pulls it back (off), the propellor stops turning. I look at him and ask, why would you do that? It was the best way to prove to someone that if you lose power you wont just fall out of the sky (we had debated this fact earlier). Actually it was quite nice without the engine, we just sat there both staring forward, cruising quietly through the earth's gorgeous atmosphere, two descendants of the great apes in a metal box impersonating a bird thousands of feet above the ground sailing into the great blue yonder. So if it ever happens don't flip out. The glide ratio is how far you can get as you lose altitude. 20/1 glide ratio for perfect conditions in the 172 means that if I'm 5,280 ft (statute mile), I could technically get 20 miles for an emergency landing. However wind changes this dramatically. 80 knots is the glide speed that maxes out the glide ratio so adjust the yoke and trim accordingly, AFTER first completing the emergency checklist.

I noticed that it is better to be aware of heading, airspeed, weather, and most importantly where you are on the sectional chart! Because when you have to land, you not only have to remember in which direction the airport is, but you have to find it! 

The elevator trim is my friend and makes life much easier, it does away with the need of keeping constant force on the yoke. After setting a climb angle use it to set the yoke. 

I also learned to read the weather reports called METARs, meteorological report. Use this weather service

It will give you a report like this:

KRFD 272254Z 33008KT 8SM OVC008 14/13 A2971 RMK AO2 CIG 005V010 SLP058 T01440133

The first piece:

KRFD

K stands for contiguous United States, I have no idea why the K. RFD is the airport identifier (not code) We actually fly out of poplar grove airport C77, it is uncontrolled (no tower), but we use the Rockford forecasts.

272254Z

The date and time. 27 is the 27th of May at 22:54 zulu (Greenwich mean-time), minus five hours for CST during daylight savings, the time is 5:54 pm the time of the last update. 

33008KT

Winds. 0/360 degrees is north, 90 degrees is east, 180 is south, 270 is west. So here winds are out of 330 or 30 degrees West of North at 8 knots (nautical miles per hour). A nautical mile is 6,075 feet as opposed to 5,280 (statute mile). A nautical mile is one minute of latitude (the distance between north and south pole being 180 degrees). If one degree of latitude has 60 minutes or 60 nautical miles, what is the circumference of the earth?

8SM OVC008

Visibility is 8 statute miles or 8SM. Clouds are overcast at 800 feet or OVC008. If it were 8000 it would have been 080. 80,000 ft is represented as 800, just drop the last two zeroes. 

14/13 A2971

Temperature, dew point, and pressure. 14 degrees celsius, dew point 13 degrees. Set the altimeter to 29.71, thats inches of mercury, one atmosphere being 29.92 inches. As you can tell we are dealing with slightly high pressure. 

RMK AO2 CIG 005V010 SLP058 T01440133

Remarks - AO2 means automatic machine did the reading that can discriminate precipitation (AO1 can't).  CIG variable ceiling from 500 to 1,000 feet. SLP - sea level pressure 058, its in milibars or Pascals 1013.25mbar is one atm, 058 means you dropped the 1-0-1, so pressure is 1010.58. The last is measure is the exact temp and dew point - 14.40 degrees C, and 13.3 degrees C.

You can check the weather anywhere at anytime, it really is a modern marvel. Can you imagine how much riskier things were before this weather service? We are panzies compared to older times.

One time during a turn we banked at 45 degrees, it was a two g turn, it was pretty cool. He looked over and asked, "can you feel the g's?". I wanted to say, "maybe we should ask the wings..."

That was the first day.

On the second day, it was a bit windy. We drove out to the airport anyway, it was such a beautiful day, the only cloud cover was broken at 10,000 feet. The sun was glaring and bright. It was just a little too windy, 16 knots gusting to 21 knots. We called it, not today. We walked back to the car, I was staring at the sky. My father says to me, this is good that this happened, many times you will be tempted to ignore reasons that ground you. But remember, "it is better to be on the ground wishing you were in the sky, than in the sky wishing you were on the ground."  It was a good lesson.

Here is what medical school is like to me.

Here is a montage I made of things you learn in the first year of medical school. The are selected power point slides and lecture excerpts. I think its cute, please enjoy...

Oh its there trust me, cAMP is everywhere, you just can't see it.

cAMP is a VERY important molecule. Here it is: 

This thing is arguably as important as ATP its more hot-headed relative - but look at the trans-phosphodiester bond between C3 and C4, that thing creates significant instability. And so we learned that cAMP binds PKA (protein kinase A) and other intracellular proteins activating them motivating them regulating them. If ATP is your rich uncle that pays for everything, cAMP is the unstable motivational speaker of the subcellular world, it binds inactive enzymes and "animates" them. If you are like me and drink coffee, you would care about all this because the psychostimulant caffeine inhibits phosphodiesterase, the enzyme that breaks the 4' phosphoester bond in cAMP. Thus caffeine indirectly raises cAMP inside the cell, something called disinhibition. 

Here is a new paper out this month.

There was no way to visualize intracellular cAMP for all of time until someone figured out how to show the molecule bound to PKA. The problem with this technique is that it is slow, takes forever, and cannot capture the momentary changes in cAMP that happen during normal physiology. Until now...

Epac is a cAMP exchange factor, like GAPs and GEFs. This is what they did. They took an adeno virus and added Epac-1 (protein holds cAMP), and also tagged it with YFP (yellow fluorescent protein). Then took specific parts of the brainstem known as pre-Botzinger complex neurons that are very sensitive to cAMP (the mediate respiration). They changed the cellular environment a whole bunch of time with different conditions and captured with on a microscope. 

Here is intracellular cAMP 

Here there is the medulla on slice! How nice! NTS - nucleus of the solitary tract, yup there is CNXII hypoglossal right where is should be. I love neuroanatomy. Pretty neat finding, I bet this will be a lab technique that gets a lot of use.

L. Ron Hubbard

Went to the Scientology Church in times square Friday, they play the orientation film every 15 minutes.

                                                 Enjoy!

I have other things to do right now, but the analysis of this film is pretty straightforward-

establish credibility, reveal no dogma only technical and organizational details replete with jargon, overcome objections, promise guaranteed results, personal testimony from people like you and me (plus Kirstie Alley, Jon Travolta, and Isaac Hayes), and confrontational hard sell at the end. BUY our books- all to the backdrop of high romance cinematic soundscapes.

Pay careful attention to the placement of the actors, dressing and stereotyping, as well as the similarity with Christian imagery (cruciform symbol, church, etc...)  

I can see why this would work they're pretty good, and if you're lonely or suggestable you could be headed to the next org for an audit, not that its a bad thing - if it provides community and support, but  I cant comment on whether thats possible with Scientology... it is easy to be cynical about man made religions being for profit. Also - I love self help gurus, I think there enthusiasm is contagious, but it crosses the line at religion.

ps- i didn't film this

Cover Girl

I'm cooking breakfast and this commercial comes on. Its the latest cover girl commerical, and this time Ellen Degeneres is the model... she looks into the camera and says...

"inner beauty is important, but not nearly as important as outer beauty..."

Ellen, shame on you for selling out, you're whole career was built on the fact that you had very little outer beauty but your wit and humor prevailed. If outer beauty is so important, why don't you show us more of your body? Why are you in a black full pant suit in the commercial? Huh? If outer beauty is so important, lets see some legs honey... You were once a role model in full support of the notion that a women could be successful based on her intellect and observation (inner beauty) without having outer beauty, you were even on TV, an evironment notorious for selecting physical beauty.

What kind of message are you sending to all the girls and women in our culture that are already pathologically obsessed with their physical appearance? How much money did they give you?

Idea

What about a children's book series on basic science laws - physics, biochem, cell? They would be very simple and colorfully illustrated and get across major themes in science - I would personify molecules and even try to interweave life lessons into the subcellular plot - e.g. - take ATP a neurotic type A, always doing something, phosphatases are classically depressed - hence blue, always shutting down cell function, just an idea - but the illustrations and visual representations (colors) would be far more important.

Personify but not anthropomorphize, no faces on the molecule, but suggest personality to,

or completely blend them - the nucleus is an infinitely repeating library, it would remind me of Borges Library of Babel

The nuclear transcription factors might be meek and silent librarians, keepers of the maze. It would be a fun project.

Learning II

Eric Kandel gave the final lecture in our neuroscience course on the topic of learning and memory. In the lecture he described some molecular mechanisms behind the development of long term potentiation.

Here is a very important slide from the lecture. This slide depicts the current leading thought behind how long-term potentiation takes place (LTP). I remember that one time from my childhood, I remember my first plane ride, or the kid who bullied me all thanks to long term potentiation. LTP makes me who I am today. It is responsible for my conscious recall of facts, places, names, etc... Explicit memory. 

Quickly, in the bottom left corner a depolarizing excitatory stimulus activates NMDA receptors. Post synaptic intracellular calcium levels rise, and calcium dependent kinases are activated leading to increased levels of cAMP. The residual calcium makes the neuron more excitable for the time being, but in a short while the unbound intracellular calcium is either pumped out or sequestered, this is short term memory. But how do the big events get registered, the ones I will never forget, first kiss, first football season, first day of high school, college, work etc? Its not too different... Back in the neuron lets say instead of having all that calcium sequestered, the calcium containing neuron is repeatedly stimulated. Now the levels of calcium become so high that the levels of cAMP become elevated. Next in line in this molecular mousetrap is that protein kinase A which finally has the strength to fully dissociate from its regulatory subunit and remain activated. PKA in turn activates MAPK pathway, and the both of them make their merry way into the nucleus. Inside the nucleus (from Latin, nux, kernel, nut or inner part), cAMP response element binding protein or CREB for short is altered by these newly entered enzymes. CREB1 increases transcription and CREB2 decreases transcription of certain genes. CREB2 is silenced, CREB1 is freed and the initiation new protein synthesis can now occur. What are these new "memory" proteins?  New receptors, neuroligins, neurexins, etc... essentially things that make the connection between the two neurons more substantial. 

So Dr. Kandel brought up the interesting point that with new protein synthesis, there are physical changes in the brain when LTP occurs. If for some reason I remembered his talk, his words would have affected my memory, or ultimately the structure of my brain. Yes, the physical structure of my brain is altered, however insignificant, my brain would have weaker or stronger connectivities. Life has taught me that certain instances where my brain has been restructured have been more significant than others if you catch my drift.

Its interesting to speculate on the ramifications of his point because I believe personality is a very subtle and sensitive biological phenomenon. To the extent that aspects of my personality are learned, I have the responsibility to guard and culture my brain's connections in a responsible fashion. Which brings up another interesting point that was made in lecture. Here's another slide:

The slide proposes a mechanism for behavior disorders. I can not tell you how relieved I am that there is a molecular mechanism (pysch needs it badly, talk for another day). In the top row, labeled A, we have schizophrenia. Many are hard at work developing the pathogenesis of this disorder, there is a dopamine, serotonin, glutamate, and now a gene regulation hypothesis. Probably multifactorial, its a way to explain the behavior associated with this disorder. But take in row B there is normal behavior contrasted with that of a behavior associated with PTSD. This would be the first look into a molecular explanation of how a negative behavior is learned, reinforcing on a molecular scale. I'm just spitballing here, but it could be a justification for CBT. 

After lecture I had some questions, I asked:

What about CREB2 -/-?

How do you believe memory and creativity or intelligence overlap?

Why is learning in the critical period (time when a child where everything is easy) different than learning as an adult?

Answers:

CREB2 knockouts display quicker learning but reach a ceiling in their capacity. I gathered that there are too many other moving parts to look for a silver bullet. 

Memory does not map intelligence or creativity very well. He cited an anecdote of an artist who could not add six and six, yet was capable of creating stimulating visual art. I'm beginning to understand that intelligence, and most importantly creativity, is probably some sort of meta-cognitive function. I can't understand how I remember my name, so I'll save explaining why Chopin choose C# minor for another day. 

Learning language, music, mathematics, basically anything, is far easier as a child because the synaptic connections are looser, more susceptible to influence. What a double edged sword! 

Is there a way back? My belief is that there is, it just hasn't been found. The more I listen and learn the more it becomes apparent that we need to increase our appetite for risk. What a pleasure it is to learn of others labors and discoveries, but it is also wonderful to suppose what a breakthrough in that field could do for humanity. Research into subtle phenomena that make us human are poorly represented in animal models. In the name of science we decerebrate cats, inject poison into the veins of primates, and quite literally play God with the genome of mice. All for good reason I'm sure, but are we so much removed? Responsible but experimental and exploratory research should take place on willing and consenting humans. Our understanding of biology will necessitate a greater confrontation of the certain unavoidable truth that we are as much animal as human.

There is no such thing as an overnight success, just a lot of behind the scenes most never saw. I was thinking about this as I walked out the door to class this morning. All the people I pass everyday from the building, security, maintenance etc... if they are savvy, they could easily know so much about a person just by the simple act of observation. They tend to be older so they have experience, they have been here much longer than the students, so they know the type. They see you when you get home on the weekends, or what time you get up in the morning. They see when you come and go, what hours you keep. They can hear your conversations and they know who you keep as friends, or who your dating. They know your study habits, and when you go home or on vacation, they can see if you pack a lot or a little. They could (if they had to) probably make accurate guesses as to your background and how you live, not that they care... Anyway, back to the original point, being that there are no overnight successes, a good life is built brick by brick, right act by right act. So I use these watchful eyes to motivate myself to conduct right act after right act. Thus when I come down to study in the morning, or come back on a weekend sober and walk past them, our eye contact is like a little checkpoint charlie; we both log in each other's memories the characteristics we associate with each other.

the staggering consequences of pride...

i was chatting earlier with some ladies in the nurse practitioner program here at the university... i had been aware for awhile that the np (nurse practioner) program gets you out the door and into the clinic in a third of the time with a little less than half of the debt, none of the liability and hooks you up with a union to boot. not too shabby. you take a small hit on your income, but if you are in it for money please get out because you are ruining the profession. so to all candidate md's interested in primary care on upto anesthesia, why why why do you want to be doctors? tell the truth - is it because of the md? those two letters come at a hefty cost. believe me, i'm stained thoroughly with this sin, i like the thought of being the final authority, of being an md, doing the sign off, stopping the buck etc... but truth be told, deep down in places i don't talk about, its power - i know myself and i know the world enough to know its true. will i actually be the only final authority? the answer is simply, no. even with my md i won't. because increasingly np's are taking over primary care and advancing on other specialties, e.g. - my physical to matriculate into med school was completed by an np.

it makes perfect sense why primary care residencies have dropped off precipitously and will continue to do so, who in their right mind would ever go into primary care with an md when you can do it with an np? four years med school plus three years residency plus a negative $200,000 versus 2.5 years of school no residency and 100K max tuition (fyi np students after attaining their nursing degree pay by credit, go ahead and ask a med student and see if they know that) the only thing that doesn't make sense is why anybody would be surprised by this.

i have observed:

1. first year med students get up later than anyone i have ever met, its atrocious. i see everybody in the house leave in the morning and at what time because i sit right by the front door to my dorm and study every morning starting at 6:30 a.m. where i meet the guard coming on shift and exchange pleasantries and wouldn't you know its the p.t. and nursing students who are normally out by 7:30? a small cadre of md students do the early run, but you can't convince me with the argument that we study late because i've been privy to one of these 1 am study sessions and it can be described by many words but definitely not efficient. plus everybody knows nmda and ampa upregulation (keys to long term potentiation) happens while sleeping - consolidate those memories (on a side note my seven and a half hours of sleep a night in tandem with my tenacious yet seasoned optimism is my proven method for devouring this curriculum)  

2. the cost of med school will easily surpass $200,000, easily. actually tuition alone is $195,000, can i get a troubled med student relief program? as ashamed as i am to admit this i'm almost happy that the government is spending like carter because it probably means carter era inflation, which will discount my exorbitant tuition retrospectively

3. everyone - by this i mean from dean down to fellow first year has indicated that the first year of med school is a wash and fourth year is a vacation - that is the truth, whether you want to hear it or not is up to you. med school should be 3 years and residents should get a raise by about 20%. how much would that cost? medicare pays the bulk of resident salaries - there are 2x10^5 residents in the US today, lets give everyone a 20K raise - total cost 4 billion - a miniscule fraction of the cost of the iraq war, tarp, obama stimulus, bush's stimulus (remember that one), and finally drum roll please... it would be roughly one one-thousandth of the total annual cost in health care in the US, remember health care spending is like 15% of gdp (13 trillion). yes, giving those tired overworked house officers and residents (that keep the hospital going too) across the country a flat 20K raise would be one one-thousandth of the annual spending. and do you know what i would do with it? pay back loans faster, its a joke, so don't worry i couldn't actually "use" it. unless of course we are in a carter ahem i mean obama hyper inflationary phase in which case i would use it to buy food.

4. gross curricular inadequacy (where is nutrition?, where is micro? parasitology? patho? not till second year, if it all, and only briefly, how do i master this in a three/four week block. why is it that n.p.'s do it first year? where is pharm? where is intro to the dealing with the business of pharm? why is there a summer break? we don't need it a summer break. life is to cozy.

5 pervasiveness haughtiness - i have had several conversations with fellow classmates who shall remain nameless that have indicated gross deficit in health economics awareness to the point where i wonder if basic accounting or health economics should be in the curriculum. 

6. the moral hazard of pass/fail system: before the md students here skewer me, i know many have fought and died to bring us this wonderful system, and i know it is the reason i am friends with my fellow classmates as opposed to foes - but the short truth is that its being abused. we all know the universal truth that you get what you pay for in life, and if something is given to you for free you will not respect it, with every right comes a responsibility yada yada, so i am witnessing academic slippage, "i can still pass with a 70", "do we have to know that?", "hey, i still passed" it goes on. the the nonclinical years of med school culminate in usmle step one -thus every nonclinical experience in the first two years should be geared towards that exam, here the tell us not to even worry about it until three months prior-  the slippery slope of the pass/fail system that was initally and mercifully designed to depressurize the hyper competitive type a neurotic, but the cost is apparent - we are losing respect for the material. most want to do well - and most are silent - but the ground beginning to shake.

recommendations

1. md's unionize, i don't care if its illegal - everybody knows justice is for sale in this country, so get the law passed somehow, everyone else in the healthcare sector with the exception of the hospital volunteer is unionized. there needs to be a consolidation in physician leadership and the ama is not cutting it.

2. med school needs to be three years only, the time wasted here in first year is unimaginable, the motivated, cost sensitive should not be punished for the maintenance of an archaic system. it saves money, and would expiditously advance our career.

3. med students wake up! we are losing ground on all fronts. our own self discipline is wanting. our rights are being impinged to greater and greater extent. 

4. residents get a raise and a thank you. i know old timer they didn't have it as bad as you, but guess what they have different problems in this age that are worse than anything you ever went up against - you hours may have been bad, you may have gotten screamed at on a daily basis by the attending - but you may never have practiced defensive medicine, paid outrageous malpractice, sued multiple times, worked for an hmo, were buried in paperwork, or buried in a quarter million dollar education debt. life today is harder because there are a lot more people, more drain on resources, less trust in the world (especially for md's), revolving door of daily appointments, cost of living increases outpacing wages for decades

but despite all that, i still think i got it so good, i love what i'm doing

haaha

Desiderata; Latin for desired things.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
the are vexing to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

-Max Ehrmann ~1920

Slow slow calcium and other musings...

Recently in lecture we were covering synaptic transmission in the nervous system. Among the multitude of neurotransmitters that endlessly and constantly communicate within the living central nervous system, calcium stands out as the primary mechanism that initiates these turgid bundles of neurotransmitters to expel themselves into the synapse. What I found particularly interesting was that at one moment the professor remarked, "And here is where everything really slows down, calcium must be pumped into the presynaptic terminal where it binds to a calmodulin dependent kinase which leads to a phosphorylation cascade... ultimately on the order of a few milliseconds."
A few milliseconds, slow? This guy must be rough on customer service agents. But then I thought in a relative manner, really if that is slow then what is small? Well I thought if you can't see it, then something is small. What is the smallest thing a human eye can see? I looked it up, I learned something. The way in which the "smallest thing" that can be seen by the human eye gets measured is through a technique of two point discrimination. Two points are placed near each other and when they become close enough such that you can no longer discriminate the two, there you have it, the limits of you perception (more on my limits later). But what is interesting is that the smallest distance (you would think) a human eye can see is not a distance, but a measure of angle. Nifty, two dots a meter apart are easily discriminated at one meter, but not so at 10 kilometers, so the limits of perception are given as an angle, in this case... drum roll please... roughly one arc minute, or one 60th of a degree. What this means is that lets say you are one meter away from a piece of paper, you theoretically could discriminate two points separated by 300 microns (check my math please), or 0.3mm. So that distance, for lack of a better term, is small. Right, right, so bacteria range in that size. Second, isn't interesting that there are ten times the number of bacteria on my skin right now than cells in my body! (not just dirty old me, everybody) Ten times all my cells, true story. So there is "lot" going on of which I'm blissfully unaware. In fact a "lot", is like the professor's use of "slow", there is a microcosmos of activity festering away now on a nanoscale that is too "small" for me to perceive. But it affects us, anyone who has ever had a bacterial infection will confirm that. Think how outlandish, how preposterous, how ignoble germ theory must have been when it was originally conceived, yet how right.
Back to slow. What are the limits of my temporal perception. What is the smallest unit of time between which I can discriminate? I have no idea, I want to say that it is well above a microsecond, and even then I'm being generous, its probably a few milliseconds after five pots of coffee. In a blink of an eye...? yep thats 50 milliseconds. Theoretically, the smallest unit of time in the universe is a Planck unit, the time it takes light to travel one Planck length, brought to us by our beloved master physicist Max Planck whose instructor once dutifully advised the young Max, "don't go into physics because almost everything is already discovered" (man if we only had teachers like this today!! sheesh). Yes this phenomenally small unit of time is roughly 10^-44 seconds. OK do you understand thats like 10^23 zeptoseconds (yes thats a real prefix), a whole mole of zepto seconds!!! Before you stop laughing consider that one Planck unit is also 10^20 yoctoseconds!!! Stop laughing, its ridiculous but true, there is both such a thing as yoctoseconds and God only knows what is happening in the universe from yoctosecond to yoctosecond. Physicists get all hot and bothered when they measure the half-life decay of the helium-9 outer neutron in the second halo to be 7 zeptoseconds, and even then in the blink of eye this decay could have happened 10^18 times, in the blink of an eye. And even then, its not like we can record every yoctosecond for ten minutes and then look back and see what happened, no we can be philisophically aware that a yoctosecond occurred, thats it, but time on that scale has no meaning to us practically, so does that mean its not relevant? There are serious limits to the perception of time imposed by our central nervous system, such that just as absurd as germ theory may have been, what is going on between the milliseconds? What life, energy, or force is happening and on what scale in the between time? To some form of life that exists for only an attosecond (10^-18 seconds), calcium uptake into a presynaptic terminal for one single synaptic transmission would seem like a galactic event, it would seem like billions of years to us residents of a Planckian attosecond universe.
There is so much going on in this world, so much to think about, so much creativity, so many ideas, but only so many yoctoseconds. No matter what your relationship to time, you have got to spend it wisely, get up and be active, think, respond, love and live, because dude if you're LUCKY, you're gonna get eighty years. And thats only like 10^30 zeptoseconds.

A must read

Take five minutes and please read. Howard describes the problem of law in today's society, he nails it.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123293018734014067.html

NZ Highlights

Aw man, these are good. Enjoy!

Integrity integrity integrity

Merriam Webster defines integrity as a firm adherence to a code of moral or artistic values. Yet there are also secondary and tertiary definitions: an unimpaired condition and the quality or state of being undivided, respectively. Integrity is a word that comes from the Latin integritas, meaning entire or whole. I find it interesting that the lesser (second and third) definitions are closer to its original meaning. Consider the degree to which the current parlance has departed from its origins. 

So I ask myself, how is it that the definition of the word integrity has changed? It could be that integrity has taken on its modern connotation because when we describe something, we mght have confused cause and effect. Follow me here, if I am a person who is whole, or unimpaired with respect to my thoughts and actions, the degree to which I function effectively in this world is augmented greatly with respect to others who are confused or divided.  I have witnessed this myself in people, its what I emulate in people. When you meet them it is apparent that they are solid, or concentrated (see below for explanation). So this type of person gets noticed and possibly described by others. Maybe at some point in the effort to be original, another person notices the solid state of this character and uses the word integrity. It takes hold, and the person's positive attributes are mistaken for his/her solid state of being. But whatever the case, at the root of behavior perceived as positive or moral, is wholeness, or soundness. And I argue that whatever you are going to do in this world, be it good or bad (hopefully good), if you want to be effective you have to do it with integrity.

Consider the opposite for just a moment. Not whole, a fraction, subdivided, or divided, or separate.

A state of division takes many forms.

 Is my concentration divided? Am I in two or more places at once? Am I delving into the past for any other purpose than information gathering or guided reflection? Am I escaping into a future that will always remain fantasy when instead I should be here in the eternal present, unbroken, undivided, integral, or whole?

Am I serving two masters? Or more succintly, are my motivations conflicted? Is there discord? Is there destructive interference between the waves that I'm riding in this life? Where am I out of sync? Where is the waste? Do I have a firm grasp on the reasons for my actions? Do I understand myself, do I have insight? What is guiding me? What am I denying?

Plagued by negative self-talk? "I can't... They probably won't... She wouldn't... It will never... I don't see..." You are divided. Are you really, really sure that, "it will never work"? Hmmmm. Interesting, forgive me I didn't see the data on these conclusions, but I can only assume that since leagues of scientists spend decades chained to a bench meticulously repeating the most mundane procedures ad nauseum to merely support the most modest of conclusions that you must have completed a rigorous investigation when verifying those words escaping your lips. I look forward to reading your paper in the Journal of You have no idea what is going to happen, but until then, error on the side of a slightly positive bent. No one has all the facts.

But... a state of integrity, of any duration, is one of wholeness.

What is the purpose of existing with integrity? When I act with integrity, whether rightly or wrongly (according to my understanding of right and wrong), that state of wholeness awards me concentration. And what is concentration? It is a comparison, it is simply a ratio. It is a measure of order, it less likely for a state to be concentrated than not concentrated, chemistry reveals this fundamental idea. In every use of this word, concentration is ratio: mass over volume. What are these properties? In life I think, mass is the energy that you bring to bear on any moment in time, it is the sum of your particular existence, even if it is not entirely clear. Volume? Volume is a measure of space, it represents the size of your focal point, the size of your attention. Concentrate on this chapter... My! this gatorade is concentrated. That music is wrecking my concentration!! All are statements that use a comparison to describe the wholeness of a state. If my actions in the moment are concentrated, undivided, unified then I am a person of integrity. Chances are people will attribute positive characteristics to you, or think you a good person, honest etc... that is a debate for another day. But what will not be disputed will be your effectiveness. 

Integrity integrity integrity! Do everything with integrity. Then you will be an individual of concentration. You will be an individual of higher energy. Why be this way? Existing with integrity is beautiful, it is less likely, more ordered, and uncommon. The effect of existing with integrity in the practical sense of today's world is that you end up helping others.